Missing you comes in waves; tonight I’m drowning

Again, here I am again. Writing…about you. I’ve done this a hundred times. I have written so many thoughts about you. Some never left the pages of my notebook because they’re too raw I’m afraid I’m exposing my heart to people who don’t even know me.

It’s been months since I last saw you, but it felt like an eternity. I just know that for now, I would do anything to see you one more time, anything, just to get lost in your eyes. You know how much I hate eye contact but I’m more than willing to bare my soul with you just to get a glimpse of yours.

I can still imagine the vivid sensation you brought by just being in the same room with me, and the way my eyes instantly searched for you when I was in a crowded room. And now, every time I go somewhere – a place where I think you’d be or somewhere I used to see you – my eyes instinctively search for you. I know how futile it is but I can’t help it. And who knows? Maybe God will give me one more chance to see you, the very last one so I can finally and truly let go of you.

But for now, I’ll let myself feel because there’s no denying that I miss you. I just miss you so damn much. And sometimes, I wonder if it’s normal to miss someone I barely know this much.

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